The Leader Doesn't Like Music

Written for: Honolulu (1939)
Performer: Gracie Allen (as Mae West) & the King's Men (as the Marx Brothers with TWO Groucho's)
Lyric: Gus Kahn
Music: Harry Warren
Year: 1939
Original publisher: Loew's, Inc., rights controlled by Bregman, Vocco & Conn, Inc.

Sheet music version:

Verse:

The leader is, to say the least,
A most peculiar fellow;
He plays on ev'ry instrument
From piccolo to cello;
Plays ev'ry composition
And he plays in ev'ry key,
But he has one peculiarity.

Chorus:

Oh, the leader doesn't like music,
Ta-ra-ra, ta-ra-ra, ta-ra-ra-ra-ra,
No, the leader doesn't like music,
Ta-ra-ra, ta-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra,
For when he was a boy,
He never could enjoy
The fun that the other fellows had.
His father, who was very stern,
Said, "It's music you must learn,"
And that's what really made him mad.
So, the leader doesn't like music,
Ta-ra-ra, ta-ra-ra, ta-ra-ra-ra-ra,
Though the people on the floor
May be clamoring for more,
With his baton in his hand,
He will have you understand
That the leader doesn't like music,
And the leader doesn't like the band.

Movie version:

Gracie Allen as Mae West
The King's Men as The Marx Brothers (with two Grouchos)

Verse:

(West:) That leader is, to say the least, a most peculiar fellow.
<Chico plays piano>
(West:) He seems to know his instruments from piccolo to cello.
<Groucho #1 plays cello>
(West:) He plays ev'ry composition and he plays in ev'ry key.
<Groucho #2 plays piccolo>
(West:) Can you explain his explain his peculiarity, Harp, can you?
<Harpo plays harp>

Chorus 1:

(Marx Bros.:) Oh, the leader doesn't like music,
Ta-ra-ra, ta-ra-ra, ta-ra-ra-ra-ra.
(West:) The leader doesn't like music?
(Marx Bros.:) Ta-ra-ra, ta-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra.
Oh, when he was a boy,
He never could enjoy
The fun that the other fellows had.
His father, who was very stern,
Said, "It's music you must learn,"
And that's what really made him mad.
(West:) Oh,
(Marx Bros.:) The leader doesn't like music,
Ta-ra-ra, ra-da-da, ta-ra-ra-ra-ra.
Though the people on the floor
May be clamoring for more,
With his baton in his hand,
He will have you understand
That the leader doesn't like music,
And the leader doesn't like the band.

Interlude:

(West:) Would you like to buy my violins?
I've some very pretty violins.
They're the sweetest little violins,
They're the cutest little violins.
Won't you buy a violin?

Chorus 2:

(Marx Bros.:) Oh, the leader doesn't like music,
Ta-ra-ra, ta-ra-ra, ta-ra-ra-ra-ra.
(Chico:) Oh, the maestro, he's no like-a da music,
(Marx Bros.:) Ta-ra-ra, ta-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra.
(Both Grouchos, spoken:) Well, what does he like, as if I didn't know?
<Harpo whistles, then <honk, honk>>
(All:) Oh, the leader doesn't like opera.
(Harpo:) Figaro!
(Groucho #2:) Figaro!
(Chico:) Figaro!
(Groucho #1:) Fragamotissimo figaroso!
(Harpo, Chico, and Groucho #2, spoken:) No opera!
If you must, then give us Martha.
(Groucho #1:) Figaro!
(Harpo, Chico, and Groucho #2:) Carmen!
(Groucho #1:) Figaro!
(Harpo, Chico, and Groucho #2:) Tosca!
(Groucho #1:) No, Figaro!
(Both Grouchos:) Figaro, oh...
(Marx Bros.:) The leader doesn't like Scotch songs,
(West, in Scotch dialect:) A say aba a dum asi ma hear is ret ro.
(Marx Bros.:) Oh, the leader doesn't like jazz, jazz,
A-zazz-zoo-zazz, a-raz-matazz.
A-root-a-toot-toot and a ricky tick ta.
(Groucho #1:) He hates a Bach toccata,
(Chico:) And he hates a Brahms sonata,
(Groucho #2:) And a symphony by Haydn makes him swear.
(Marx Bros.:) He despises Paganini
Or an op'ra by Rossini,
And a Strauss waltz makes him tear his hair.
Oh, the leader hates all kinds of music
(Spoken:) Hoo! Hoo!
(Sung:) Ta-ra-ra, a-ta-ra-ra, a-ta-ra-ra-ra-ra ra-ra.
He doesn't like it sweet,
Oh, he doesn't like it hot,
Da-da-da,
With, with, with the stick in his hand,
He'll have you understand
(All:) That the leader doesn't like music,
The maestro doesn't like the band boys.
The band boys don't like the leader either,
And the leader man doesn't like the band!